I’ve had a little bit of a blogging break. I think about blogging constantly, but some ideas pan out, and well…others don’t! So, suffice it to say, I just didn’t blog about good or bad ideas. Not a great way to say, “Welcome 2009,” huh?
I have turned into one of those people that makes New Year’s resolutions. I have always scoffed at the whole idea because I like to think I know myself so well and I know that I’m not incredibly disciplined, so why depress myself by not following through, right? Wrong! I had a talk with Jeff yesterday and bore my soul to him (a great benefit to being married to a pastor 🙂 ). He had preached one of the best messages I had heard him preach, and people, they are always good. This one, however, particularly challenged me and got me to thinking about my motivation, who I’ve become, who I want to be…you know, the deep stuff in life.
Even typing that is a little daunting to me because I love to laugh, keep it light and not so serious here at Hickman Happenings, but really, readers, anyone who says they don’t do deep, or drama, wake up! The ones of you who say that (me included) are the most dramatic of all. Pause now and take a look at yourself in the mirror! Aaaaaah!!!! You are Drama Queen/King! So, that out of the way…I embraced my drama side yesterday and realized that drama is exactly what happens in our lives when we get sidetracked from our focus. I think you know me well enough by now to know I want my focus to be Jesus. I really am just now beginning to understand just what that means for my life. It is life without judgement, legalism, and pleasing people. Those are just a few examples that have kind of encompassed my life up to this point. Some I have brought on myself, and others somewhat indirectly forced on me through various situations, but nonetheless, I let these things take over to some degree. The thing is, though, I don’t always feel that entangled by them, but they are like a toxic part of me that, frankly, I’m just ready to rid myself of. You might be reading and thinking, “Ummm…Amy’s New Year’s resolution must be to bare her soul!” Well, yeah, sorta! I have always called it like I see it, or I try to, but I don’t always say it OUTLOUD when it comes to ME! That part hurts too much, so let’s just say I’d like to get over that, and if it requires a little drama to go there, well, then, that’s just where we’ll have to go. Really, not allowing the drama to come in our lives is way more detrimental to us than dealing with it and being thankful for it. It’s the drama that gives us life experiences most of the time. It affects us. It changes us. I want to be changed. I want my Jesus to change me.
So, drumroll please…I’ve made New Year’s resolutions! My, in a nutshell, resolution is to stop trying to live my life! ! I want to live my life, people, but I need Jesus to live it in me, and stop trying to take control over everything. This is not really a New Year’s thought. This is an everyday thought. I’m just thankful that a New Year rolled around to give me a good, old fashioned kick in the pants to set me back on track.
Oh, I’ve got plenty of things I see as goals for myself and things I want to do this year. I, like every other person in society, wants to lose weight. But, it’s the discipline I crave to have the sticktoitness to prevail. I want to spend more time with friends. This is not something that I feel I fail at. I really do enjoy great time with friends, but I want more! I want to make more friends and surround myself with people that spur me on and love me for me! You might not understand why I would type that last sentence, but that’s where the pleasing people side of me comes in. Often, as a pastor’s wife, I feel people get close to me because of what they can get out of it, but I need people that just want to know me for me, and not what I can do for them. So, I want to get to know you and hang out with you if that’s you! I also want to be a better manager of my home. I feel deeply that God has given me certain responsibilities to ensure that my home life is the best it can be. That goes from teaching my children how to be the best they can be, to supporting my husband the best I know how, to creating a pleasant home environment, planning meals and not eating out so much, saving the most money I can (sidenote…I’m thankful that my husband sees fit to trust me to do that and I fail a lot at it, but he lets me learn to be my best at this), having lots of fun in our home, instilling God’s word in the hearts of my girls, and using my home – no matter if it’s clean or beautifully decorated – to welcome others in. There’s so much more I want to do to invest in my home, but I know that will come as I trust God to discipline me. I also want to continue to concentrate on doing just what it is that God has for my life. I know that my greatest source of joy is walking in obedience to Him, so that is my goal for each day. One way I am trying to do this is by commiting to scripture memory this year. My friend, Resia and I are holding each other accountable to this as we participate together in Beth Moore’s challenge on her blog to memorize two scriptures on the 1st and 15th of each month. I’m excited about it and encourage you to sign up because I don’t think it’s ever too late to begin, ya know!
Whew…that’s enough deep for one day, don’t ya think? I really am just very excited to begin a new year. I secretly love fresh, new beginnings. Maybe it comes from the fact that I’ve moved more times in my life than I can remember, so starting fresh is something I’ve come to appreciate. Who knows? I may not be perfect at succeeding in my goals, but if I can gain ground in even one, then I’m thankful because that is one more work God has done in me.
Hope your New Year’s has started off like you hoped it would. I’m glad to walk this journey with you…even if I don’t know you. If you get a little bit of encouragement along the way from dropping into Hickman Happenings from time to time, then GREAT! We hope you learn to laugh with us, cry with us, steal ideas from other blogs with us, grow older with us, see us fail, see us succeed, and so on and so forth!
Keep up with my scripture memory on the sidebar. Feel free to memorize with me. Check out the previously highlighted link to the scripture memory challenge and go get yourself a notebook and begin today!
Happy New Year!!!