I can remember the “I want a baby so bad I can hardly stand it” days in the beginning of our marriage. It was all I could think about, dream about, and think some more about! About 8 months into our marriage, I harrassed Jeff all the time about us having a baby. He always said, “It’s not time.” I thought those words meant he didn’t love me, ’cause he always gave in to me before, which is also called my manipulation! I just always seemed to know how to look at him the right way and BEG, and then get my way. I never won on this. I didn’t win on this, at that time, because God was using my man to lead me…to lead our family. He knew that God had not picked that time, just 8 months into our marriage, to grant us a child. He knew that we needed to pray and be faithful to that which God had called us to do at that time.
Now, years later, I’m celebrating my 11th Mother’s Day. I had McKenna at the end of April, and almost two weeks to the day, I went to church to celebrate my firsts Mother’s Day by dedicating her that Sunday at church. Today, I saw some first time parents, and some longtime parents, dedicate their children to the Lord. It reminded me of doing the very same thing that first day, and then three more times after that. It has been a good reminder to me each Mother’s Day of just how God was always preparing me for that which He has prepared me! He chose this for me. Even in the midst of never feeling like I’m that super of a mom, He saw fit to bless me with four of the most precious daughters. They each bring an extra special something to my life…
McKenna ~ my firstborn! She is increasingly more like a friend to me. Now, grant it, we still have to parent her, but I so enjoy my conversations with her about life. She makes me think hard, and she challenges me to be my best in all I do. I watch her tackle her fears head-on and not give up. She inspires me!
Bailey ~ She always makes me laugh. She is silly and so innocent, and in her innocence she makes me laugh the most. I love to watch Bailey catch herself having a “Duh” moment. She just laughs and laughs over “how in the world could I have thought that,” in turn making me laugh at the sound of her laughter. I love the way her heart is bent for her family and friends. She never wants anyone to hurt or be sad. She is loyal through and through.
Avery ~ My free spirited child probably challenges me the most, but really makes me laugh the hardest. She was watching a movie the other day with Spanish subtitles and midway through the movie, she said, “By the way, Mom, can you write this movie down in my school reading log so it will count toward my weekly reading!” Points for trying, Avery!! The other day I was singing along with a Richard Marx song (who, by the way, I adored in high school!) and she said, “OH, please turn that old fashioned music off!” Ugh! OLD FASHIONED? 🙂 I can see her calling me out on my wardrobe next!
Quinn ~ I am in love with this little two year old. She makes me smile everyday. She grabs me around the neck every morning and says, “OH, my mommy!” Yes, I am, my sweet girl. I am so very glad to be your Mommy! I love hearing her say everyday…”I get my shoes on a minute I go outside.” Not only does she say it once, but will say it a gazillion times until we get those shoes on and get her outside!
My girls have blessed my life. It challenges me to stay home. There’s not a lot of glory in it. There are days, and yes, I had some of them this week, that I have felt alone and disconnected from the real world, but I know God has called me for “such a time as this,” and I wouldn’t trade it for a million and one paychecks. Having kids has made me a better me, in all of it’s challenges, in all of it’s ups and downs, not sticking to scheduled days, being lazy and doing nothing days, to the kisses to make it all better. Being a mom is the best job on earth!