As some of you know, I’ve been reading the Bible in 90 Days plan from youversion.com. I have read Scripture that I never knew existed, Scripture that has brought back memories, and Scripture that has pierced my heart at just the right time and moment I needed it. In Hebrews 4:12 says,
“For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
This was the case for me this past week as I was reading through 2 Samuel. I love reading about the life of the man after God’s own heart, David. Through David’s life, I relate. I see a person much like myself. I identify. Our experiences, obviously, are different, but they thread together with great commonality. David lived a most UNperfect life. He made mistakes – some more grievous than others. How often I’ve made mistakes or poor choices and want to curl up in a ball and cry “Woe is me”. I wouldn’t say I ever got to the point of wanting to rip my clothes to shreds as David often did during his times of grief, but nonetheless, I’ve found myself…especially over this last year…in that cycle of mess up, feel good, mess up, feel good, only to end up feeling as if I’ve been in that machine at the mall that simulates a cyclone, spinning round and round making a big, fat mess of things. Often as we “try to figure out life” we go through such a battle of emotions. For me, I camped out on pain. My pain lied in, “the world is against me and I don’t even like myself!” I could write a book on as to why, but quite frankly, who wants to relive the past? I read this in 2 Samuel 22:21 this past week…
“God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I cleaned up my act, he gave me a fresh start.”
How great is God that He wants to give us a fresh start? I’ve had a lot of those. How about you? This last fresh start, for me, can be characterized with one word…HEALER. No, I have not been sick…well, yes I have…but not physically sick. I’m not sure I realized I was sick. I’m not sure I realized I was in need of healing, but yet it took me getting very sick of myself to take those broken pieces and give them to God. Yeah, it required a little…OK, a LOT…of work, but friends, it has been OH so worth it. Who wants to admit that you can be a whole lotta TALK and not a lot of WALK? At the risk of sounding cliche, who really wants to admit you can say the right things a lot, but when no one is looking you don’t believe a things that comes out of your mouth. OK, here’s me, with my hand held high ADMITTING it. Is that you? Do you just get sick of the sight and sound of yourself sometimes? For me, I became broken over it. I’m talking at the lowest point broken over it. You know what, though…just like God often did for David, He, too, gave me a fresh start! He healed me, so to speak. Do you find yourself there? Do you often find yourself there? Sometimes it is, indeed, often we find ourselves in need of healing. Were/Are you like me and have a lot of the right kind of talk going on with very little real walk to back it up. Someone close to me this week reminded me that our actions should be our follow-up to our talk. For me, I’ve expected those around me to read my mind and understand what really goes on in my heart, but you know…that’s just not the case some times. Sometimes the road to God healing us is up and down, twisty curvy. In the healing, the hurt may reappear, but God takes our broken pieces and He puts us back together. I like to think I have it all together. A lot of people are expecting me to have it together. You know, if I could say one thing (Really? Saying ONE thing for me is…HARD!), I would tell you, “I know the Healer.” I’ve been touched by Him, and I continue to be touched by Him. There’s no more down and out for me. I’m sick of it. Yes, there will be days of down and out but can I tell you, I will trust in the One who makes it all better! This song is fairly popular right now. Since it came out, I’ve listened to, and played it for others, countless times, but until recently did it become REAL to me. The so-very-real truth of it takes me over. Today, it’s for you! Maybe today you need God to taken the pieces and give you a fresh start. Let Him be your Healer today….