Today meet Tabitha. There are not enough words to adequately describe how dear Tabitha is for me. She and I met new to church planting and from day one, she has been a confidant for me. She is a Truth-speaker, a life-giver, and brings passion to every room she enters. She is a kindred spirit that I hope the whole world can know and love as much as I do. What she has to say through her writing is real and raw. I am thankful for how she is unafraid to be vulnerable so that others can hear she has been right where they may find themselves today….
It was a chilly afternoon yet the sun was blinding from the glare through the window. His voice grew familiarly silent as the heat of the conversation continued to rise. “We’re done. You can take the house and I will live elsewhere.” My emotions muted like the silence of no words and I became numb to the change that was taking place in our marriage. “I don’t need you,” rolled off my tongue as I declared my allegiance to another avenue of happy ever after. The silence lingered like a feather flailing to the ground and suddenly conviction snatched him back into reality.
” Everything I’ve been striving to provide for, is about to walk away forever.”
Two children, one with special needs, two miscarriages and another due soon; the echo of our present trapped my mind outside the reality of our life. His absence through the venture of providing, was sucking my heart dry and leaving our “I do” stale. Anyone can speak words of commitment but it’s the harmony with which the words dance that keep the rhythm of marriage in sync.
Gripping the tip of my shirt he pulled me close to him. “We can’t allow what God has given us to slip away. We weren’t made to survive. We were made to thrive.”
His voice trembled with God’s word spoken over us,“What God has brought together, let no man separate.”
I wanted to believe him. My soul ached to receive his words. Our last sixteen months did not echo his words in that moment. Yet, the God of the universe I’d spent the first eight years of our marriage clinging to, gripped my heart to listen.
So, I listened.
Longing for different.
No marriage is beside hardship. No marriage is beyond God’s restoration.
We were two people in love, trapped inside the decay of our promise to one another. God, in His sovereignty, enveloped the defeat of our decay with His promise to rescue.
We were standing on the edge of the cliff, looking over. There was nothing left but to take the giant leap. It’s amazing how the audible voice of God breathes life into your soul right before you exhale into the pit of disbelief. Instantly, the life we would live apart from one another flashed before us.
We became still.
Every kiss. Every walk hand in hand. Every laugh. Every move. Every job change. Every hurt shared. Every joy celebrated. Every baby born. Every victory won. Every intimate conversation. Every milestone reached. Every single hardship. All of it, irreplaceable.
“…give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
The days that followed required grips of endurance and leaps of faith. But, God danced with us leaving His footprints of grace. His faithfulness in our circumstance continues to cultivate my heart for gratitude in all circumstances of my life.
God, in His mercy, was saving our marriage.
We had to choose to be thankful for the hard.
We had to choose to grip His grace.
We had to choose to thank Him inside our circumstance.
I graciously encourage your heart today; no matter where you are in this life, grip His grace, trust His promises, follow His lead in the dance and give thanks in ALL circumstances.
Life really is a dance! We continue to learn as we go…
My first love is Jesus. I am so blessed to be married to Chris, I mama three beautiful children. Writing is a passion, counseling-encouraging-teaching women from my life lessons, is a gift and I drink grace from God’s overwhelming well because I can’t survive without it.