Tired of Hiding

When I was a little girl I would often hide anytime I thought I had hurt my mom’s and my dad’s feelings. They probably never knew half the times I hid out waiting for feelings to subside and normality to return. I was never that child that got in a lot of trouble, but even perceiving I had disappointed them at all would send me to sit alone in a closet or lock myself in my room.

As an adult, funny how my behaviors never change, only now I want to hide from my problems, because if I hide, won’t they just go away. Won’t the ones I’m hiding from eventually forget me, or that way too big challenge eventually just fade away? But life’s too short…too short to hide it all away. In the times I make really bad decisions that only God and I know about, it is from Him I try to hide the most. That relationship that failed, or the deceptive decisions we make, or those times our emotions got the best of us and we let it ALL out – they all send us into hiding. Hiding from what? Well, the truth is a hard pill to swallow, but we hide from Him…and we hide from ourselves. Ourselves – the best of who we can be, but we hide behind the hurdle of just dealing with it all. The risk seems too large, but what about the risk of losing it all…of losing everyone…of losing sweet fellowship with Him believing we actually really could?

Here’s the thing. I got tired of hiding, of never facing my fears, my junk, my brokenness. So, I simply took a step and made a choice to choose everyday to step out a little more into the light. I had the hard conversations. I faced the ones who hurt me or made me sad. I began to LIVE, really live. The pain will fade away, friend. That’s the only place it can go, but you take the first step forward. You make the choice. Hiding is lonely. Hiding just brings more pain. Make today the day you make the first choice. Choose to hide no more!

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