When We Waver

1-minute post:
“It’s our wavering between gods that has us sinking. It’s the wavering between the gods of things and the God of everything – that’s what has us flailing and drowning soundless in it all.” Ann Voskamp, “The Greatest Gift”

I don’t even think we know we’re making the choice, but in fact we are making “it”. The tearing down of myself over the exclaim, “Someone else can do it better.” The forsaking of the “assembling of ourselves” because we just can’t make ourselves wake up in time. Our marriages, which have indeed become “conveniences,”no longer understood under the beauty of covenant. The cheering of that which is outside the will of God. All hard pills to swallow, yet it is the wavering between “just enough,” to no God, to all God that has us sinking, many drowning. We wonder why we feel suffocated, so we search for a way, a quick fix, to get a breath, to make us feel better. Maybe our marriage, that one we thanked God for in the beginning, has become the easiest thing to just stop fighting for…so, we turn to the god of happiness instead because, “Wouldn’t the God I serve want me to be happy.” Careless words, catastrophic consequences. Is He only enough God when things are going well? Is He really the God of ENOUGH?
That co-worker that seems to outshine us in every way, sending us to our car each day for a long drive home, blaring “You are WORTHLESS” all the way. Is He only God enough when we succeed? Is He really God ENOUGH…period?

Life’s blows, its choices, the valleys that are so very hard, how easy to waver to “He doesn’t care”. “And if you don’t choose God, you’ll bow down before something else…” (Ann Voskamp). Surely I won’t bow to another, yet I do. I bow to the “I have to get myself out of this mess,” or the “just enough God” to get me through my junk.

Advent is still the gift of the “slowing down”. The gift that truly does keep on giving, for it’s within the slowing of life that we may just see Him more clearly. It’s in the slowing down that we find new resolve to fight for that which is worth it. Can we see the worth? You, my friend, are it…the worth…the one He came for – died for. No wavering is too late to change. Choosing Him always wins in the end. The gift of Christmas this year may just have been staring you in the face all along.

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