For the past three weeks, I have spent every Wednesday with 50 or so ladies studying how we can tackle rejection, loneliness, hurts and losing our way. I stand up before them each week hoping in some small way to encourage them, point them to God’s word and build a relationship with them. Instead, I walk away each week more humbled by the gift they are giving me, a gift they may be completely unaware they are giving.
Ever feel like you’ve lost your way? In the midst of even goodness in our lives, life often sucks us in and we just get lost in the day to day. We have words spoken over us and they change the way we see ourselves. We have assumptions made about us and we begin to make our own assumptions in return. Relationships change. Circumstances change. Work environment changes. Chaos even happens at home. It is really all of the makings for losing ourselves. It is where I’ve found myself for quite a long time now. To admit relationships have become toxic and I have played a part in not bringing grace and Christ into them have characterized my life. I can rest in a waiting pattern for someone else to bring those things to my life, to wait for someone to find value in me, so much so that my waiting turns into solely finding significance in the people around me. It’s then the words come rushing at me, “People will be people”. Yes, it’s true. They are. I am. Buried under layers of the loud voices in my head I begin to hear the quiet whisper, “Who do I say you are?” I know the voice. I know it because it even in the quietness of it, the power of peace comes with it. I have forgotten who I am. I’ve waited on everyone else, but Him, to remind me. But being the God He is, full of love and mercy, full of grace to never leave us as we are, He reminds us even through yes, people.
So, I stand before a group of women each week, and I hear the words spoken I have so longed to hear. They are not words directed toward me, but they are words that reposition my gaze on Him. I have lived a life that has taught me right answers about what I am supposed to do to overcome, but now, surrounded by women pursuing after Him, I am hearing and seeing them take actual steps to do just that. They are Christ lived out in front of me. In my search to find me again – better version of me – God has given me this gift to pour my heart into these lives, to visibly show me that purpose again that PEOPLE are the ministry. Overflowing my life into a life gives LIFE! How sweet is is to pursue God with another! To walk away from an hour and a half of cheering each other on will change a heart. It has changed mine. It has reminded me that when we chase our passion – for me, to see women’s lives changed – we truly do find who it is God created us, and is creating us, to be. I wish I could bottle up the love I feel in that room, one for another, but instead I will pass it on…to the one lost, the one who feels rejected today, to the lonely…I see you. I am you. I know One who will never speak those things over you. I need change in my life…richer friendships where Jesus is our talk, love is our mission, where getting to minister to people is the passion of our hearts because I know when this heartbeat drives us all, it lights a world on fire. As I told my class recently, “Together let’s grasp the absolute power of who Christ is and what He can do, and TOGETHER move forward to be women who can change the world.”
Which times in your life have you been reminded of who it is God is creating, and has created you, to be?